i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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