Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
