i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
