True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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