oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
