Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize