I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
