You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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