come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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