therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
