I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
