you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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