Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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