i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
