Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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