these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
