apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
