2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
