Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
