Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
