that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize