Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
