hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Oh god it's open bar.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
