So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
