So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
