1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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