Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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