I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
