gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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