her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
