"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
