where am i from again
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
