elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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