You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
