Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
