just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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