Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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