my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
