it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
