I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
