It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
