I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
