he puts the penis in happiness.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
