Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
