like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
