I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
