There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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