Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
