My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
