I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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