I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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