guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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