remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
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she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
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my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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