if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
