i think my tv is drunk
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
