Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
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I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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