After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
