oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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