i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
