So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
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I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
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I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?