I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
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I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
he just fucked me for my cheese.