you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.