singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
