Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
