Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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