ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
