Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think my vagina is haunted
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
