I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
