who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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